knees, jobs, ice cream and 20.

i'm breathing right now.

that's huge considering i have been drowning in homework, group projects and presentations for the last two weeks. but finally i get a few hours break. just to breathe and reflect on the huge changes that have occurred in my life within the past two weeks.

#1. my knee is healing very well. there is still swelling that won't leave and that's the biggest problem right now. the muscles won't strengthen as fast if there is still swelling, so as soon as that stuff is gone we should be good to go! i have two weeks of physical therapy left too which is nuts...usually i would still have one more month at least to go, but this time plans have changed (more on that with #2) and i am ahead of schedule this time :-) my therapist is super sweet though, and last week she offered to write me a letter of rec for PT school! that was so exciting! she talked to me about the interview and application process and it made me get so excited to move on to that part of my life!!

#2. well here is the biggest change that has happened--> I GOT A SUMMER JOB! woo hoo...and not just any summer job- THE summer job that i have had my heart set on since last summer when my summer turned out to be more stressful than the school year. i applied to work up north at Sleeping Bear Dunes in January when they first started hiring because it is my fav place on this earth, so why not spend the whole summer up there?...well i think i talked before just about how it didnt work out. they called me and said they wanted to hire me but couldnt let me leave for camp...haha, there is noooooooooo way i would miss camp!! not for a million dollars.

well last week i got a call from another branch of Sleeping Bear offering me a job. a great paying job. a job that will give me the week off for camp. and a job that i only work M-Th so that I can come home some weekends to hang out with my friends! :-) after just praying so hard for months that God would just provide a perfect opportunity for me, no matter if it was here or up north...he did. it just amazes me all the time how he just comes through. even if it's not what we had in mind, it is better. as much as i am nervous to leave for the whole summer. as much as i am going to miss the heckkkkk out of everyone back at home. i know that this is what i am supposed to be doing this summer. i know it is going to change me in ways i can't even imagine. it will strengthen friendships back home and create new ones up north. it is going to cause me to depend completely on God! i mean how many times do you move out on your own for three months?...it's scary, but soooooooo exciting! :-)

#3. lastly...it was my birthday on wednesday! :-) woo hoo for getting old! i have never really been a huge "it's my birthday!" person. it just has never really been a huge deal to me. i love having an excuse to get together with all my favorite friends, but these past two years especially have just been no big deal birthdays. but that's okay. it's fun to use the day that is supposed to be all about you to remind yourself to think about everyone else. it was a day that just reminded me how blessed i am and how many people truly love me. it makes me grateful and excited for what is to come in the next year! but i DID get to get my favorite ice cream with two of my favorite people :-) ((dairy store coconut chocolate almond! :-)))

**so much is happening in the next two weeks. so much is going to change. but i am just praying that God is preparing my heart and mind for those changes. it's cool knowing i'm not alone no matter what. God is already up north getting it ready for me, he is already sitting next to me in my finals calming my nerves and helping me through them. he has already prepared the way for my relationships and friendships and what he sees is good. so i'm not worried about it.

in with the new.

finals are here...and with it stress and misery. for real yo.

it's like, ok we just got done with winter and being all sad and depressed and now we have to suffer through being inside studying instead of being outside in this beautiful weather...

but this year is a little different. this year marks the end of a year that has completely and 100% changed me. friendships, relationships, family, school, priorities, God....everything has changed. it's crazy because i know that i have learned so much and gained so much experience this year, but it hasn't slowed down enough for me to process any of it...it's like as soon as summer hits it is going to take me a good few weeks to just sift through everything that has happened and make sense of it all.

i am nervous for the future, but even in the last few weeks i have learned how to just hand it over to God and i am losing that nervousness and gaining a sense of excitement and im just getting prepared for what is to come. my life is changing constantly and rapidly...it will be nice to just think through it all. but im not trying to over think things this time...there is only so much you can prepare for. its like i know i have been preparing my whole life for this point. growing in my relationship with God and my parents...learning to say no and stand up for what i believe...giving more of my whole and real self to people...it's all part of the learning process, but if i never have chances to put all that to the test then what's the point you know?

the future holds a lot of unknown...for me. but one person knows and he has it all under control...

thanks God. <3

it's so late and i just want to go to sleep...

i am tired.
i have a long week ahead.
i can't get this dang paper over with...

...i am tired. did i mention that?

vwhooooosh.

so i was in the library tonight and there was this guy who kept making weird noises and facial expressions to no one in particular while he was studying...and only the people i was with laughed...but it was so obvious...haha...i dont get it.

it makes me wonder though how many times i am doing something and may not realize it (though im pretty sure this guy was aware of these things he was doing haha)...and people just laugh behind my back...

who knows. im sure i never do anything like that... :-)

don't let this slip away...

i can tell it's one of those weeks that pretty much everyone wants to be over already and it's only tuesday. whether people had crappy weekends with no sleep or fun and they are already wiped out or people have crappy stuff in the future that they are already stressing out about...everyone is just angry at the week and exhausted. including myself...

but tonight i was talking to my friend Coryell about his campaigners talk and it made me reconsider my anger. he is talking about the end of the world and what it will be like when Jesus comes back for us. what Coryell said that i thought was so cool, was that as much as we can try to find out what the signs are and what it will look/feel like...in the end it is going to happen fast..."like thief in the night"...he quoted from the Bible. and it's so true. we can sit around and mutter and complain about each day and talk about how we just want to get through this semester and then we will be nice to everyone again...but we are not guaranteed tomorrow...ever.

so who am i or who are you to treat everyone like crap when you're having a bad day and then just get over it and act nice again when everything in life is going sweet? it is through these hard days and long nights that we have to pull out every ounce of strength and remember we are not guaranteed tomorrow and that means we need to love each other now. today. in the midst of our crap...no matter how mad we are. we can't ignore people that we love, we can't distance ourselves from everyone until the storm passes over...we just have to love like there is no tomorrow and live in the moments that each day brings, whether bad or good.

people aren't going to remember you for how nice you were on the sunny sweet days. they are going to remember how you treated them even when your life was crap. and that's a lesson i am learning everyday...

beauty from pain.

so pretty much since my sophomore year of high school i desperately wanted a nose ring. like sooo bad. but of course my parents laid down the law. there was no way their beautiful daughter was going to be tainted with a nose ring. but after years of hint droppings, pointing out other nose rings and sharing "what if" scenarios with them...they finally wore down and day #3 after moving into the dorms freshman year i got it pierced!!

i felt so complete...

haha...not really. but it was so sweet. i was so excited and it added a little adventure that had been missing from my life. but the thing is...is i don't understand how they got it in in the first place. it is called a "nose screw". you would think it would just be a straight post that went into your nose, but no...it has a post and then a weird C shaped "screw" on the end that holds it in securely....but let me tell you it is a ..... not fun thing to try getting out...or IN.



and here in lies my problem. after changing it from screw to post last summer for work i have stayed with post since and it has been heavenly. but the only thing is the jewels keep falling out of them...so finally i went to the place today to get new ones...problem: the only ones that don't fall out easily are the "nose screws"...SWEET!

so i buy them deciding that i can handle it and will eventually get one in. but after coming home and sitting in front of the mirror close to tears of frustration (ok...so i'll admit i actually did start crying, i was so mad)....for 45 minutes...yes, 45 minutes. i successfully got the screw part in...however, it wasn't where it was supposed to be. after a painful 45 minutes the screw just made a new hole for itself in my nose...and it was at this point that i just yanked it out and but my jewel-less post back in and left with a red throbbing nose....

i hate moments like that. seriously...i just want the dang nose ring in but it has to get complicated...and then to top it off i let it put me in a bad mood for like 5 minutes. the whole time i was driving to younglife i was fuming and muttering to myself and getting so mad, but as soon as i pulled up i was like, "dilyn, this is ridiculous...you are letting a freakin nose screw ruin your attitude"...so i got over it. but really...how many times do we let dumb things like that just set us off. i mean, yeah my nose is still tender and i'm less than happy that i just spent that money and can't even use the things...but really...life will go on.

but just in case...if you have any tips on how to get it in...send them my way :-)

pie in a blender.

so i have always been completely obsessed with cherry pie.

but only that...
you know how some people are obsessed with something everything? like grape everything or something like that? well that is just not for me.

there is this little store up north where my family and i camp every year called the cherry republic. and it is pretty much every food you can imagine + cherries. ok...not EVERY food but there are things like cherry cookies, ice cream, bread, pie, brownies, coffee...etc etc etc.

and everytime we go up there my family thinks i just cant wait to get over there...but really. i dont like anything cherry except pie. that is all! haha...no cherry cookies or ice cream...blah...no thanks. i hate cherry flavored slushies, cough syrup and Maraschino are the sickest things i have ever laid mouth on. just pie....

but today i tested my boundaries...
at Grand Traverse Pie Company they now make Pie Smoothies...and so when i stepped up to order the cashier talked me into a Cherry Pie Smoothie...and i took the offer.
let me tell you...it was amazing! of course, not comparable to cherry pie itself...but wow was that baby good.

moral of the story: test your boundaries.

hey! i put some new shoes on and suddenly everything is alright.

i really really want some new shoes.
these are the top 2 right now...




ORRRRRR...

why don't i just give you everything...

i wish God would just say that to me some days.

lately i have been having a hard time just laying down my life at God's feet and giving it up to Him. i'm at a point in life where i am just restless and frustrated with where i'm at and how stuck i feel. i think that was why i wanted so badly to go up north to work...just to get out of this rut and live at a different pace (and on my own). just get away from this place and find refreshment from the only place it can truly come...God.

i just bought a new book that is called God Whispers by Margaret Feinberg. on the very first pages she said:

"We would welcome anything that makes life's journey easier, the right decisions clearer, and the future a little bit more predictable...We want to know we are on the right track, we are headed in the right direction, and everything is going to turn out okay. We want to know God hasn't forgotten about us. He really does love us. And He really is involved in our lives."

my wise friend Matt :-) reminded me yesterday of the story of Abraham and Sarah. God had promised Abe and Sarah descendants and numerous as the stars in the sky...but years went by and they began to grow too old for kids and still they had none. Abe began to believe that God had forgotten about him and so he decided to take matters into his own hands. he had a child through a maid and believed he had "helped God out" with his promise. but that was not what God had in mind. so just to prove he was completely in control and could do whatever he wanted he waited another few years and then all of a sudden 100 year old Sarah was pregnant....talk about a shocker. God only said "Is anything to hard for the Lord?"...

i see wonderful signs of God's promises all around me. i have complete faith that His will can and will prevail no matter what our agendas are. but as a human we can't seem to fathom God's timing being different than our own. we believe we deserve to know what is going on in our lives and we try to fix things when we think God has forgotten...but he hasn't and he never will. God keeps all of his promises. His timing is perfect. He knows my innermost heart and he has designed his plan around that...he gave me these desires and needs and only he knows how to best satisfy them...i need only believe.

this was a scene worth waking up for.

so last night i got to FINALLY go to a concert :-)

it was just down the road at MAC's and it was for a band called Matt Pond PA. and it was great! the company was hilarious....hanging out with Selma is pretty much one of my favorite pastimes seeing as she is like top 5 most hilarious people i know.

but anyways...after stand outside in the frigidness that is Michigan for about 45 minutes, then walking into a small space filled with tons of people that was extremely hot. standing for about 3 hours/dancing a little bit. inhaling straight up cigarette smoke for about 3.5 hours and then promptly walking back outside...i wasn't feeling too well.

i took a hot shower to get rid of the headache but it didnt work...so i promptly fell asleep at 2am knowing i had to be up for physical therapy at 7am. not cool. however, my plans were interrupted when i woke up at 5:30am to the worst migraine i have ever experienced in my 19.94 years on this earth. after dealing with that for about an hour and a half (ill spare you the details) i knew that physical therapy wouldn't be happening...i felt like crap. falling back asleep i woke up about 2 hours ago at 1pm....headache still here, although a LOT less painful. it is just a nagging ache that is probably only there because my head was shocked earlier this morning. so no classes for Dilyn and uncomfortable studying will be occurring for the remainder of the day.

days like this i am thinking...uughhh, life is miserable. to think that in heaven i will never feel pain again. that is great stuff. but i was thinking...this week has/is still going to be one of the most stressful of the semester...so maybe God knew i needed some extra sleep and this was his means of allowing it. i wouldn't be able to skip class without an excuse, and so today i felt very much able to skip. and sleep.


ah well...tonight get to go (hopefully depending on how i feel) to my 10 year old sister's school play of Peter Pan.

it should bring back memories of my stint as a narrator in that same play 9 years ago. good stuff.