there is a road laid out before me.
a road i am very good at turning around and analyzing, but a road i suck at looking forward to.
i can't always remember where i began. and i definitely have no idea where i am going.
it can be cluttered, blocked off. detoured. a lot.
it can be paved. it can be rocky.
the road i have chosen is narrow.
sometimes it doesn't make sense.
sometimes it feels like i have just gone in a complete circle.
sometimes all i can see is beautiful horizon.
sometimes i am walking towards a sunrise.
some days i am walking into a sunset.
a lot of people cross my road.
walk alongside my road.
some i see going to opposite direction.
some i see standing still.
sometimes i feel like i should run down my road to try and see what lays at the end.
sometimes i am content in walking along with my hands in my pockets.
there are so many things going on with this road, but i think the one thing...the simplest thing...that i always forget. is that i am on a road. i am not lost and wandering in the wilderness. i am not floating in space. i am on a road.
i am going in a specific direction. whether i chose to or not is another story.
but i am purposed. there is a plan laid before me.
for my benefit. for my best interest. to pull forth all my gifts.
i am blessed.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
wake up. you're alive!
the school year has begun!
senior year! can't believe it. a lot of changes have already occured in my life and in the lives of those around me and there are a lot more changes to come!
it is an exciting time in my life. a time when i am not at all sure of where i will be at this time next year. a time when i am completely at the mercy of our God. when i am like a wad of clay in his hands...free to be molded into any single thing he could possibly want. and i am so excited and hopeful for that!
i was talking with my friend lamia :) last night and through our conversation i began to make some realizations as i looked back on my life so far. since having my three knee surgeries, i have struggled on a daily basis with what God wanted me to understand through those processes. and now as i begin my last year of planned out schooling and face the unknown real world i am beginning to see how my knee surgeries prepared me for this time.
after my knee surgeries, especially the second and third, there was a strong sense of 'why?' of 'what the heck am i supposed to do now?'...but each time i found ways to cope and i made it through becoming stronger for the trials. as i approach the unknown yet again, my first question is no longer 'what the heck Lord!?', but 'God, just please make your will clear to me!'
without experiencing the uncertainty of future with my knees, i am 100% sure that i would not be handling the unknown future well now. but instead i can rest easy in the palm of my Savior's hand. whether i get into school this year or not, whether i even end up becoming a physical therapists or if God wants me somewhere else...i am totally ready for it! i have clung to his promises of being with me always, even to the ends of the age and at this time in life i can feel assured by those same promises!
<3
senior year! can't believe it. a lot of changes have already occured in my life and in the lives of those around me and there are a lot more changes to come!
it is an exciting time in my life. a time when i am not at all sure of where i will be at this time next year. a time when i am completely at the mercy of our God. when i am like a wad of clay in his hands...free to be molded into any single thing he could possibly want. and i am so excited and hopeful for that!
i was talking with my friend lamia :) last night and through our conversation i began to make some realizations as i looked back on my life so far. since having my three knee surgeries, i have struggled on a daily basis with what God wanted me to understand through those processes. and now as i begin my last year of planned out schooling and face the unknown real world i am beginning to see how my knee surgeries prepared me for this time.
after my knee surgeries, especially the second and third, there was a strong sense of 'why?' of 'what the heck am i supposed to do now?'...but each time i found ways to cope and i made it through becoming stronger for the trials. as i approach the unknown yet again, my first question is no longer 'what the heck Lord!?', but 'God, just please make your will clear to me!'
without experiencing the uncertainty of future with my knees, i am 100% sure that i would not be handling the unknown future well now. but instead i can rest easy in the palm of my Savior's hand. whether i get into school this year or not, whether i even end up becoming a physical therapists or if God wants me somewhere else...i am totally ready for it! i have clung to his promises of being with me always, even to the ends of the age and at this time in life i can feel assured by those same promises!
<3
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