fortunate fool.

who do you do it for?

what drives you...what motivates you?
is it your own want, desire and needs?
is it to please someone?
to fulfill someone else's expectations?
to follow the rules, look good?
to just do something??
to have fun?
because you just don't know what else to do?

is it because you feel a tug on your heart?
a twinge of conscience?
a whisper?
to be more, to do more.
what is it and where does it come from.
how can we be sure that our acts are selfless and not selfish.
what is God's will?

i think God has a will. it is that he wants all to know him.
he wants all to be saved. to be loved.
he wants us with him, in paradise, when this world ends.
does he care what i do in the meantime? yes.

but...

i do not believe he has an opinion in:
where i live
who i marry
how i spend my time
where i work
how much money i make.

he only wants that i want him.
that i choose each day to act in love,
where i am,
as i am,
with who i am with.

i can do a lot of things. i am good at a lot of things.
i have passion and drive. but i also like to be lazy.
sometimes i want to move away, sometimes i never want to leave.
but as long as i love and i serve others, laying down my own life
so that others may see the way he loves me.
i cannot be outside his will.
because i am his will.
you are his will.

we love because he first loved us. we do, go, work, live -
for Him. by Him alone.