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Monday, March 31, 2008

you know we don't have all the time in the world.

so still trying to figure out life.

1. biggest decision right now is figuring out this summer and what to do.
2. second decision is figuring out my schedule of classes for next year.
3. third thing on my mind is boys. of course.

1. for this summer i just talked to my potential supervisor and she said that they really really like me and want to offer me a job, however they aren't sure they would be able to give me the week off for camp that i requested...which in my head i am thinking "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"...i want this job so badly! it is a very prestigious student job and will look amaaaaaazing on my resume and provide me with some great connections later in life. the thought of being up north for an entire summer is like a dream to me...but there is just no way i could miss camp. just no way. i have been praying so hard about this for so long. since last summer i have dreamed about this job. i know God has this all under control and he is planning a summer that is going to change my life. it sucks because i know that if God wanted me working up north he wouldn't make me sacrifice so much of younglife and what i have been working towards with so many of those girls that mean the world to me. as much as we think we know what we want, God knows better and he will provide for us in a way that will maximize growing opportunities. so i am continuing to pray for that.

2. i spent the weekend in Rochester with Kae which was sooo fun! and her mom is the scheduling genius so we talked about my schedule for the next few years and tried figuring that out. after i met with my adviser a few weeks ago i was feeling really discouraged, like doubting if i have what it takes to complete my major well and become a physical therapist. the next two years could go amazing or could be i am just praying that God grants me peace with my major and know that he is going to give me the tools to do the job he has in mind for me no matter if it's what i'm thinking right now or not.

3. boys. #s 1 and 2 are demanding most of my prayer life and energy...and #3 always has a way of taking away from that. just being nervous that i am missing something or that i am being too picky (even though i know im not) are nagging too much lately. i am working on keeping a pure heart and making sure that i am approaching every situation asking questions and not letting my heart rule my head. as much as i would love to date and get married and all that stuff, it's cool knowing that this time is preparing me for that stuff. it's fun being alone and free to decide just me and God, not another person too. i am working on running after God's heart and then seeing who is following after. i know God is going to make things known to me when he feels like i am ready to handle that. he works in mysterious ways and i have definitely realized lately that as much as we are sure of things God has bigger plans...we need only to be still and listen for his direction.

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