why don't i just give you everything...

i wish God would just say that to me some days.

lately i have been having a hard time just laying down my life at God's feet and giving it up to Him. i'm at a point in life where i am just restless and frustrated with where i'm at and how stuck i feel. i think that was why i wanted so badly to go up north to work...just to get out of this rut and live at a different pace (and on my own). just get away from this place and find refreshment from the only place it can truly come...God.

i just bought a new book that is called God Whispers by Margaret Feinberg. on the very first pages she said:

"We would welcome anything that makes life's journey easier, the right decisions clearer, and the future a little bit more predictable...We want to know we are on the right track, we are headed in the right direction, and everything is going to turn out okay. We want to know God hasn't forgotten about us. He really does love us. And He really is involved in our lives."

my wise friend Matt :-) reminded me yesterday of the story of Abraham and Sarah. God had promised Abe and Sarah descendants and numerous as the stars in the sky...but years went by and they began to grow too old for kids and still they had none. Abe began to believe that God had forgotten about him and so he decided to take matters into his own hands. he had a child through a maid and believed he had "helped God out" with his promise. but that was not what God had in mind. so just to prove he was completely in control and could do whatever he wanted he waited another few years and then all of a sudden 100 year old Sarah was pregnant....talk about a shocker. God only said "Is anything to hard for the Lord?"...

i see wonderful signs of God's promises all around me. i have complete faith that His will can and will prevail no matter what our agendas are. but as a human we can't seem to fathom God's timing being different than our own. we believe we deserve to know what is going on in our lives and we try to fix things when we think God has forgotten...but he hasn't and he never will. God keeps all of his promises. His timing is perfect. He knows my innermost heart and he has designed his plan around that...he gave me these desires and needs and only he knows how to best satisfy them...i need only believe.