i have been thinking a lot lately about how blessed i am.
how i have been blessed to keep such a strong faith throughout my life.
i have realized that never once have i questioned God; though i have plenty of times questioned what he is doing. and for that i am extremely thankful.
this not to say that i haven't faced hardship. trials. confusion. temptation.
this not to say that i have never failed.
lately i have been wondering why some people have to go through bouts of question. why some people don't. and what each of our roles are in the grand scheme of God's plan.
why is it that i can know for certain that whatever transpires in my life, i will be ok. i will be loved. i have eternity to look forward to. and why is it that some people don't? even those who have followed God just as long as i have. even those who are just as strong in their faith.
as Christians we are called to hold each other accountable to the faith we profess.
as a leader of high school students, it can be easy to tell the truths of the Word to 16 year olds, because they look up to me and they believe that what i am telling them is truth. but what do you say so someone your own age who has just as much knowledge of the scriptures? what happens when people know. they know. they know.
i get mad. and frustrated. and confused about things that happen in my life. but i know that without God and knowing that there is a better end for me than i could ever imagine or hope for is what reassures me.
what happens when things happen beyond your control?
what i have found is this. our greatest worries and our biggest fears are due to the fact that we can guarantee nothing here on Earth.
the concerns we have and the frustrations we feel are due to our desire to feel the best that we can as humans. we have faith in the end and we know where we are going. but our doubt and our emotion here on Earth are exactly what God uses to help us to realize how much better his lot for us is in heaven.
should we feel complete happiness, should we feel complete security, should we feel great ease of mind - those pearly gates wouldn't shine so bright.
the desire we have in our heart for love, for peace, for bad things to stop happening and for the world to make sense are our desires for God, but we try to find God in the wrong places. in love, in happiness, in a world that we can understand.
reassurances of love, of hope and of a future will not satisfy our desire. it will not sooth our soul. they are not what we want. because we know that they will not be fulfilled by anything here. we know. we know. we know this.
..."But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself? This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God...But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well."
luke 12:22-31
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