darlin' do not fear.

i've been back on campus for about two months now. i love being back, but i feel like i haven't done the greatest job adjusting. i feel like i have allowed myself to slip right back into some old habits. i mean, we ARE human and these things will happen. sometimes i feel like i am just getting way too lazy.

this summer taught me that it doesn't matter what the world expects of me, or even what some of the closest people to me think. as a Christian i am living for God and his will for my life trumps everyone elses. i feel like i have been living a safe life to please people and not stand too far apart from the world. but we are called to live a life that is good and pleasing to God and often times this means living like no one else is.

in college i feel like pressure is everywhere. it may not be the obvious kind of peer pressure like in high school, but it is totally there. the pressure to be yourself but to stand out, to have your own opinions but not to challenge anyone else's, to be tolerant but not passionate. to be all for all men. it doesn't work...it drives a person crazy.

...and i have been trying to fit into that mold for the past few years. it has driven me to being a grouchy person with the world. it has caused me to hold onto bitterness longer and forgive slower.

i have found that in the past few days of trying to love easier and laugher quicker my life has gotten whole lot easier. i am still working on the whole time budgeting issue, but as i live for God and worry less about pleasing the world, i have a much easier time of moving through life with a way better attitude. i feel like things are finally falling into place.