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Tuesday, June 2, 2009

lord only knows.

i love how i always come to a conclusion one way or another that eventually all the chips will fall into place and i will finally be at the perfect place in life to live to my full potential at all times. who am i kidding.

in the process of waiting for this moment i am slacking off and using it as my excuse of why i can't just push through in the life i am living right now. instead of taking full advantage of the situations i am in, i choose to dismiss them as a mere accident. i say - "this isn't normal, this won't be what my life will look like for long. this is just a chance situation that i need to wait out." - and so i continue through my days imagining that everything happening outside of my plan should be dismissed as circumstantial and my resulting behavior and reactions should not be taken into account as usual...

however, how i react and what i choose to do in these situations is very much a signal of my internal character and the things i am wrestling with at the time. i can no longer try and pretend that i am a victim of my circumstances, but i need to grab a hold of my life and procure greatness and viability from each day, planned or unplanned.

i can no longer make excuses for why i am sitting around waiting for my life to fall together. i need to assume responsibility for each day and pray that i can be okay with the idea that things will go without being planned, but the day can still be great and my attitude should still be positive and pure.

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power can rest in me." - 2 Corinthians 12:9*

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