sometimes i feel like a failure. not in a literal sense. in the sense of things that no one can see but me. i might look great and successful on the outside, but inside i am fighting to tell myself that i am on the right track.
it becomes specifically clear in relationships. looking over the last few years of my life and the people i have been in contact with. i know i have failed a number of relationships that i could have invested more into. i know that i shied away from opportunity and instead convinced myself that it was their fault and not mine as i stayed holed up in my room, with my "busy" life.
what do you do when you feel like that? how do you reconcile? do you you? or do you just learn better for the next time? i am a firm believer in learning from past mistakes and not beating myself up over them. so believe me - that is not my intention now. but really...how do you convince yourself that you can leave what happened behind?
sometimes you make decisions at a time in life based on what you think will result from your choice. what happens when the reaction backfires? and instead of people realizing you have their best interest at heart. that you love them. what if they feel like you hate them? like you could care less? like you are selfish? how do you fix that.