the last few days have been nothing but cold, dreary and rainy. not at all showing hopes of spring. and that is has in turn been affecting my mood of course...
these days i can't figure out if i am rushing into decisions or just so overwhelmed with information that i can't think straight anymore. my head is a merry-go-round of thoughts and i just keep circling around and around. driving myself crazy! and how many times have a submitted to prayer? embarrassingly too few..
it has been almost 1 year exactly since i finished my career at Michigan State and i am still staring down the rest of my life with little visual as to what it will hold. i am getting so restless, but i am also to the point where i am scared stiff to make a decision at all - i am too used to searching and researching ideas for the perfect career.
as many of my YL girls are making final commitments as to where they are going to college next year, i have spent a lot of time rethinking my own education. and i realized i wasn't really sure why i went to MSU in the first place - i just felt like i needed to, like it was just the only right thing to do. and so now i know that i need to prayerfully consider my options and know why i am making a choice to pursue throwing down another couple thou...ugh.
in my spinning i think i am getting a little closer to narrowing my search. but i just need to open my Bible and pray instead of opening another search engine. not to find out what career God wants me to have, but to find out how much he loves me and how certain he is that my life will in fact be used for his glory no matter how much i try to screw it up!
prayers for mercy from torturing myself this week!
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